If you’re my player, get the hell outta here. I know I messed up by recruiting half my readership as my players, but I’m not going to spoil my dungeons to pad my stats. You’ve been warned, spoilers ahead.

I’m back on the campaign prep grind, and this week I’m tackling the most difficult part yet: Designing three levels of a dungeon. Endless Rest Cave is a dungeon about six miles from Old Tophet and likely to be the first dungeon the players hear about due to frequent sightings of the feared Goblins in the area. From the surface, it looks like any other one of the small caves that dot the hillsides, with no obvious indications of habitation and just a gently sloping walk down into the cave itself. The cave is natural for the first level before intertwining with the ancient tomb of some forgotten warlord, and is currently home to a great deal of Goblins attempting to use the place to build a power plant for further strikes in towards farmland and villages. The map was constructed in Mipui and stocked with a combination of OSE’s dungeon stocking procedures and me eyeballing things.

I’m honestly not super happy with the results. I found the process of actually designing this thing fairly tedious, and I had to force myself to finish it. On the plus side, it means by entries are nice and short because every word was very slightly torturous. I don’t know what the problem was, inexperience, self-doubt, just a long week? Either way I’m likely to tweak this in the future, and if I do expect a follow up post.

Before I start, a brief word on doors.

Goblin Hydraulic Doors: Large metal doors that slide up and down, retrofitted from Goblin Saucers. Mounted in the side panel is a glowing green mechanical eye that opens to indicate that the door is active and listening. Under default programming, the door will open when commanded in a clear voice to “Open” in the Goblin language, closing automatically once everyone in the party has passed through. Opening it physically is resolved as per Stuck doors. The doors can also be programmed by those with sufficient Goblin Science knowledge to open to a different command, or to specific sounds, or simply when someone comes close. Rarely, more advanced doors can be programmed to open only to specific voices or when presented with an ID card. Hydraulic doors must be connected to a power source, generally by cables on the interior side. If cut off the door becomes fixed in whatever state it is in until power is restored.

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Wandering Monsters

1. 5 Gecko Lizards, Hungry

2. 3 Fire Beetles, Skittish

3. 1 bandit, wounded and terrified

4. 4 Goblins, patrolling

5. 3 Goblins, bored on break

6. 2 Rock Baboons, mischievous

Level 1
Notes: Naturally formed caverns, unless otherwise noted. The doors are of ancient stone construction, and pivot easily to the side when in good working order.
Total Loot: Worth 330 gold, also treasure map, six liters of Killer Bee honey

Rooms
A) The cavernous ceiling gives the vague impression of a cathedral. Four killer bees live along the upper ceiling. Nonhostile unless they or the Queen are disturbed.
B) Ancient paintings on the walls depict a warrior journeying through the underworld. 3 Fire Beetles.
C) Empty. The passageway leading north has a very obvious pit 15 feet deep and 10 feet wide.
D) Ancient paintings on the wall depict the warrior from B emerging from the underworld into Paradise. 4 Goblins around a campfire, on guard for intruders. 35 gold in mixed small coins are in a sack lying against the wall.
E) The door leading to F has been wedged open by hive material, though can be closed with effort. Two bandit corpses (with a total of 160 gold and a note containing the Goblin word for “Open”) and the corpses of the two bees that killed them.
F) A barrel of torches and wet straw are kept in one corner by the Goblins to smoke out the Killer Bees. Three killer bees cling to the ceiling. Nonhostile unless they or the queen are disturbed.
G) The secret door on the west wall is concealed behind a large boulder shaped somewhat like a dog’s head which must be rolled away. The hall behind is worked stone, as opposed to naturally formed. A hive has been constructed along the east cavern walls. Home to the Queen Killer bee and eight attendants, hostile to anyone that enters the room. The hive contains six liters of honey, capable of healing 1d2 health per liter when eaten.
H) Empty but for a natural spring from the south wall, the sound of which makes wandering monsters more difficult to hear.
I) Three fire beetles nest in piles of rags on the ground. The piles contain 15 gold in mixed coins if searched. The tunnel to the hall outside of Room J is visible through a hole in the wall, large enough only for a Halfling, Shoalfolk or a contortionist.
J) Burial chamber of the architect who constructed the tomb on Levels 2 and 3. The sarcophagus contains 1000 silver coins and a map to a hoard of 3000 gold coins buried in the mountains.
K) South door is a closed Goblin Hydraulic Door, set to open only to an “Open” command. Boulders have gotten stuck under the door, giving about six inches of clearance below. Five goblins sit around a lit heating coil, drinking. Together they have 20g coins on them and in their personal effects.
L) Empty. The stairs leading down are finely carved to blend in with the natural stone, as if water eroded perfect stairs.

Level 2
Notes: B, C, D, E, F, and G are all naturally formed caverns. All remaining rooms are worked stone, with ceilings ten feet high. Doors as on Level 1.
Total Treasure: Worth 965 gold, also Goblin Blaster (as Wand of Fireball), Rope of Climbing

A) 3 goblins gathered around bundles of old cable, stripping the metals out. 3 baskets of bundled precious metals, each worth 50g.
B) Empty. West door is Stuck.
C) 3 rock baboons harass passersby by throwing rocks unless placated with shiny objects. They currently have 5 gold coins stolen from intruding bandits.
D) Strewn with waste and refuse, otherwise empty.
E) Court of five Rock Baboons. Their leader wears a gold necklace worth 125g, with a further 30g scattered around the room and will demand more shinies in return for safe passage. If the shinies are sufficient (worth at least 100 gold), he will open the secret sliding door concealed in the north wall.
F) The door in the north wall is slightly ajar, wedged open by a dead bandit who’s head is grossly distended by spider venom. Inside, five Crab Spiders lie on the ceiling awaiting prey. The Goblin King keeps a stash of his treasure in a corner here in case of emergencies or to direct spelunkers to their doom, 100 gold and 500 silver.
G) 2 Goblins are using a hanging bandit corpse as target practice with their crossbows.
H) Goblin Terrarium growing delicious Space Bulbs and Tharax Stalks. Nutritionally useless and sickening to human biology, but can be reprogrammed to grow more mundane crops while underground. One goblin tending the plants.
I) Living quarters of the three goblins in charge of the Terrarium. Two are inside, 50% chance of sleeping vs playing dice over their shared hoard of 300 silver coins.
J) Goblin Power Plant. A glowing green orb floating in the center of the room over some strange machinery spins rapidly, with cables running off in every direction to power various things. The generator cannot be removed by anyone short of a Goblin Engineering Master without risking meltdown, and anyone who touches the orb must save vs. death or suffer massive organ failure in 1d10 minutes. A Goblin Blaster (as Wand of Fireball with two charges and a maximum of six charges) is recharging in its holder, at 1 charge per hour.
K) Goblin barracks. 1D10 goblins can be found here when off duty. The bunks and chests contain a total of 75 gold in assorted strange knickknacks and loose coins, filling a potato sack.
L) Goblin Mess Hall: 5 goblins sit around eating various strange juices and powders. The alien food processors they use are operable by hand and would fetch 100 gold from an alchemist. The secret door on the west wall is operated by pushing a brick, causing the door to pivot to the side, but can only be opened from this side.
M) Two bandits have hidden here after the rest of their number were killed by various dangers and are trapped. They’ve survived by licking moisture off the walls of the tomb for a week and will do more or less anything to get out, including serving as hirelings. They have been too scared to open the sarcophagus, which contains 3 gems each worth 100 gold and a moldering corpse.

Level 3
Notes: All except for the natural tunnel at J are finished stone of very high quality. Doors as on level 2 unless otherwise noted.
Total Treasure: Worth 2,520 gold, plus Dagger +2 (+3 vs Goblins)

A) 4 goblins are painting over the murals depicting human warriors kicking goblins down into hell. The door leading north is a Hydraulic Door that has been unplugged, locking it closed.
B) Quarters of the Goblin King and his two bodyguards. His personal effects include 250g, 700 silver, and his most prized possession: a metallic climbing-cable with a built in AI assistant (Rope of Climbing). The murals of Goblin scientists dissecting screaming humans have been left very intact. The door leading north is a Hydraulic door that has been unplugged to lock it closed.
C) Empty. The wall murals depict a king leading soldiers into battle against goblins. The door leading north is Stuck.
D) The walls depict a great funeral for the deceased king. 4 zombies loiter around. The door heading east along the south wall is both locked and trapped by a falling guillotine blade that falls when the door is opened, but which can be spotted by looking up.
E) Treasury of the King. A silver statue of the King holding a severed goblin head and a dagger. Worth 1000 gold if recovered intact, and 500 if chopped down and melted for its component silver.
F) Tomb of the King and his Queen, who have animated as vengeful ghouls due to the intrusion in their tomb by their most hated foes. Barely coherent, but can possibly convinced to not eat the party if they can prove they aren’t goblins themselves. The king clutches his most prized possession, a Dagger +2 (+3 vs Goblins) A pool of water in the southeast corner leads through a murky underwater tunnel to the cave at J, and the secret door in the north is opened by twisting the head of a carved goblin statue all the way around.
G) The chambers of the King’s Servants. Each chamber contains both about 200 gold in fine golden and silver cutlery and plates and also twenty tightly packed zombies. The goblins have opened doors 1 and 2 already, releasing the undead and leaving the plates scattered on the floor. Five zombies roam the hall. The northern secret door is opened by activating two pressure plates on the floor, intended to be pressed by kneeling, causing the mural on the wall depicting a kneeling servant to swing away.
H) A mural depicts humans working in a mine while goblins vaporize a worker. 5 zombies are standing around, rotting.
I) 2 goblins stand guard. They will assist their allies in A or B, but are mostly interested in convincing the party from going any further north and accidentally unleashing more zombies.

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I’m going to not look at this garbage again until Monday, and enjoy my weekend. Next week, I flesh out the city of Old Tophet, the home city of the campaign.